Subconscious: – Hey dumbass, I have a question for you! Why do people cheat?

Conscious: – I’m going to ignore your insult to prove you I’m better than you! And your question is interesting! There are many aspects here… what kind of cheating are you referring to?

Subconscious: – In the video I’m watching right now, a wife takes a shower with the pizza delivery boy. Is that clear enough?

Conscious: – That Freud dude was definitely right about some people, like you! Are you a porn addict or something? OOoooossssaaaaa! I’m calm, I’m calm, I’m calm… Okay, so to answer your question, this kind of cheating exists because people are bored in their current relationship and they are in a search for something new.

Subconscious: – Oh yeah! New dicks are funnier than the known ones!

Conscious: – Can you please let me finish? So just as I was saying…

Subconscious: – Right on time! The pizza dude finished as well! You synced your finish with his… that’s kinda…

Conscious: – Don’t even dare to say something! I’m going to take you to a mental hospital and leave you there! WTF is the matter with you? Just let me finish my idea since you asked the question! You have the attention span of an ant!

Subconscious: – I finished first. Sorry! Wanna go again?

Conscious: – I don’t even know why I bother doing anything with you…

Subconscious: – Well, you can do it solo too. It’s not that good, but it does the “job”! Oh wait, isn’t that also cheating?

Conscious: – …………….

Subconscious: – Ok, seriously now. I’m sorry. What were you saying?

Conscious: – I was saying that people cheat because they want new experiences, physical and/or emotional, maybe they realized they’re not on the same page with their partners, but they don’t have the guts to get out of that relationship or they cheat if by “mistake”.

Subconscious: – I don’t know how someone can f*** someone else by mistake, but I’m eager to find out! Tell me more about this “mistake” thing!

Conscious: – By mistake means that a person gets into a situation stronger than the self is. Let’s say we’re at a party and we drink like a fish and we obviously get drunk, which means that I go to sleep and you can do whatever you want! And you are driven by the basic instincts, like reproduction, and you make us f*** somebody and the next day, when I wake up, I realize you made us do something horrible.

Subconscious: – I guarantee it will not be horrible! Wait… did you just call me basic? You and your dick are basic! How dare you? You’ll pay for this! I’m going to search for every stupid situation we did and you’ll be so ashamed that you won’t be able to fall asleep!

Conscious: – Bring it on! My partner, alcohol, is here to help!

Subconscious: – Oh well, I’ll do a solo night! If you know what I mean!

Conscious: – You’re pathetic…