Subconscious: – Best ride eveeer! I can sing Backstreet Boys and watch the fluffy clouds!
Conscious: – Yes, it’s a nice view! Thank God for this car!
Subconscious: – WTF was that?
Conscious: – What? I didn’t hear anything!
Subconscious: – That’s because you never wash your ears! The engine it’s not reacting to our commands! Hit the gas again! It’s not working!
Conscious: – Relax, it’s fine…
Subconscious: – Try the f****** gas pedal!
Conscious (while hitting the gas): – F***
Subconscious: – OMG OMG OMG! What the hell are we going to do now? We’re in the middle of nowhere and it’s freakin’ raining outside! This is it! that’s how we die! Kiss the wife and say goodbye because the “check engine” blinkie blinks!
Conscious: – Calm the heck down because you’re making me anxious and we’re scaring our wife! We need a plan…
Subconscious: – You calm down! How the hell can you be calm when we’re gonna die?
Conscious: – We’re not gonna die! Let’s stop and check what’s the problem.
Subconscious: – That’s what hell must look like… freezing rain and broken cars… I think it’s time for me to become more religious.
Conscious: – That means you need to stop with the porn.
Subconscious: – Oh… never mind then…
Conscious (opening the hood): – I don’t know what I’m looking at… I know nothing about cars.
Subconscious: – Then why did you open this s*** in the first place? You just made everything worse! We’re going to die faster!
Conscious: – That makes no sense! I’m calling the mechanic.
Subconscious: – Don’t call him! He’s probably off anyway… Today’s a public holiday, remember? That’s why we’re off too, dumbass!
Conscious: – Maybe you’re off, I’m very well, thank you! Ok, then let’s call a towing company.
Subconscious: – Nope, put that phone away! We’re not calling anyone!
Conscious: – You and your f****** social anxiety! We need to call someone to get help! What else can we do?
Subconscious: – Let’s go home!
Conscious: – How? The car is not working!
Subconscious: – Well, it would be the right time to learn some mechanics, don’t you think? Let’s search on YouTube “How to fix a car that doesn’t work”!
Conscious: – Uhm, what? Ok, leave me alone because you’re not helpful at all!
Subconscious: – Remember that time when you had to call the phone company and you got stuck in the middle of a sentence and you couldn’t continue?
Conscious: – Why did you have to bring this up? You’re making me more anxious than it should. Oh, and by the way, you got us stuck in the middle of the sentence, not me! Let’s focus on the problem we have now! I’m making that phone call because I don’t want to die!
Subconscious: – Die? So I’m right, right? NOOOOOOO!
Conscious: – F***… you always make things worse than they are… Did we put any gas in this thing lately?