Subconscious: – Long time no talk, huh? You’re ignoring me now? You promised I’ll have a voice and s*** like that… I’m gonna give you terrifying nightmares for this!
Conscious: – What’s wrong with you? We talked two hours ago!
Subconscious: – A “Sup” and “Fine” is not an optimal conversation, don’t you think? Also, the bathroom is not the best place to have a meaningful conversation, don’t you agree?
Conscious: – That wasn’t it. I asked you to remember that recipe we used last year for our wife’s birthday and you completely ignored me. It was like I was the only voice up here.
Subconscious: – I didn’t care about that. I was stuck in the bathroom, if you know what I mean.
Conscious: – You’re always stuck with something, that’s why we have these conversations. To get to know each other and also to get along one with another. Since we’re in the same f****** body!
Subconscious: – Oh you got that right with the f****** body. But I can go to places where you can’t so technically I can experience some f****** without you!
Conscious: – Let’s get back to the point! You said I’m not talking to you anymore when in fact you’re ignoring me. We need to talk about the things I like, not only about yourself. That’s how friendship works, but you wouldn’t know that. You’re lonely and alone!
Subconscious: – Look who’s talking! And of course we’re talking about what I care because I’m the star of this show! You’re just a laptop operator!
Conscious: – Are you ok? You seem to be confused and stupid, which is strange because you’re never confused. I think I need to take you into the woods and leave you there!
Subconscious: – What a clever insult! Why don’t you use that cleverness for something useful, like making me rich or something? We would have better booze and a smokin’ hot wife!
Conscious: – That’s it! We’re done here! You’ve insulted my wife so you’ll pay for this!
(…Tony Self slapping himself…)
Subconscious: – You stupid poop eating monkey! What’s wrong with you? We’re in the same body so you just hurt yourself! Are you a masochist or something? Go drink a banana cocktail without the banana to chill a little! You seem tense!
Conscious: – I’m so sick of you! You’re nothing more than a thing made of porn, money and s***! You’re as smart as a rock with the emotion stability of a storm! You’re just useless!
Subconscious (crying): – Oh yeah? And who made me this way? You and your family and your friends and your habits! It’s your fault! We should just go into the woods to end this! I’m sure a bear would be very happy with us in him, and not in the good way!
Conscious: – I’m so sick of all these emotions you keep making me feel… because of you I cannot enjoy this life! Maybe we should end everything! It doesn’t worth the struggle! I need a f****** drink!
Subconscious: – I hope you overdose some day!
Conscious: – Yep, me too!